Halftime (2022) ☆☆1/2(2.5/4): The halftime of her life

Posted on June 19, 2022 by kaist455

Netflix documentary film “Halftime” examines what may be regarded as the middle point of Jennifer Lopez’s life and career, and it interests me to some degree. Although I am not that familiar with her music career, I saw several movies of hers including “Selena” (1997) and “Hustlers” (2019), and that is more than enough for me to see why she has been an enduring entertainer for more than 20 years. Besides having that distinctive star quality of hers, she is also a strong Latino American woman who is also very talented in many aspects, and that is the main reason why she has prevailed without losing any of her artistic integrity.

However, I cannot help but wonder whether I really get to know more of Lopez as a person or an artist after watching the documentary. Frequently alternating between two different narratives during 2019-2020, it does not delve much into its human subject, and, to my little disappointment, Lopez herself does not go beyond what she is expected to tell throughout the documentary. As a matter of fact, if you are one of her longtime fans, I doubt whether you will learn more than what you already know about her life and career.

One of these two different narratives in the documentary focuses on how Lopez and her crew members prepared for the halftime show for the 2020 NFL Super Bowl. Due to lots of race issues surrounding NFL ignited by a certain public act of defiance by Colin Kaepernick, NFL needed a popular pop artist to represent racial harmony, and, after several months of rumors, Lopez was officially chosen for the halftime show along with Shakira. Although she was not exactly pleased about not doing the show alone by herself, Lopez saw an opportunity to spread positive social messages in addition to expressing more of herself, and we soon see how she and her crew members started to work on what and how she would perform during several minutes allotted to her.

Meanwhile, Lopez also had the other important business to handle. In addition to playing one of its main characters, she also participated in the production of “Hustlers”, and she suddenly became a considerable Oscar contender after it received lots of positive reviews at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Considering that she did not have much critical success since “Selena” and “Out of Sight” (1998), the movie looked to her like a long-awaited chance for getting more respect from audiences as well as critics, and, as shown from the documentary, she really worked hard during the following Oscar season for getting the nomination.

Of course, as many of you know well, her hope was soon dashed step by step. Although she received the awards from a number of major movie critic associations including the LA Film Critics Associations, she did not win the Golden Globe award or the Screen Actors Guild award (Both of them went to Laura Dern of “Marriage Story” (2019), who deservedly won the Oscar as predicted by many people from the beginning), and she and others around her were quite disappointed when the nominees of the 2020 Academy Awards were eventually announced.

Probably because of its anti-climactic ending, this narrative looks rather trivial compared to the other narrative of the documentary, which could be more fascinating and interesting if the documentary only focused on this part. For example, a certain sociopolitical part of Lopez’s halftime show performance was initially approved without much problem, but then those rich and influential figures at the top of NFL, many of whom were incidentally associated with President Donald J. Trump, objected to this in the last minute, and the documentary unfortunately did not pay enough attention to how Lopez stuck to her artistic vision despite some compromise.

In case of the part showing the preparation process for Lopez’s halftime show performance, we surely get a bunch of raw and intimate moments as the cameras frequently hang around Lopez and her crew members, but that remains to be no more than mandatory services for her fans out there. Sure, she is quite passionate and dedicated as demanded, and she often talks about how much the show means to not only herself but also millions of fans and Latino people in US, but we can clearly sense that, like many other contemporary pop stars of hers, she is still controlling her public image instead of revealing more of herself and her artistry in front of the camera.

When the showtime eventually came, Lopez surely did not disappoint her audiences at all, but the documentary moved onto its epilogue part a bit too quickly. During this part, we see Lopez getting another notable highlight in her life and career, but the documentary does not provide much narrative ground for that, so it leaves a rather hollow impression on us in the end.

Directed by Amanda Micheli, “Halftime” is a fairly competent documentary, but it does not distinguish enough among many other recent similar musician documentaries ranging from “Gaga: Five Feet Two” (2017) to “Billie Eilish: The World’s a Little Blurry” (2021). In my humble opinion, Lopez and her undeniable artistic talent deserve something more insightful than this, and I certainly recommend you “Hustlers” or “Selena” instead if you have watched neither of them.

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Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) ☆☆☆(3/4): Another nice encore

Posted on June 19, 2022 by kaist455

As watching “Downton Abbey: A New Era”, I was reminded again that I liked and enjoyed its numerous main characters more than I thought. Sure, that popular TV drama series preceding it was more or less than a friendly soap drama version of Robert Altman’s great film “Gosford Park” (2001), and I sometimes rolled my eyes for its many convenient plot twists when I watched all of its six seasons before watching the following 2019 film. Nonetheless, mainly thanks to its writer/creator Julian Fellowes, who also wrote the screenplay of “Gosford Park” and won an Oscar for that, the main characters are colorfully human enough to amuse and touch me, and I certainly came to root for them as they often struggled with each own matter of heart and life.

The story is set in 1928, one year after the ending of the 2019 film. As implied around the end of that movie, Tom Branson (Allen Leach) marries Lucy Smith (Tuppence Middleton), and everyone in Downtown Abbey is happy to see him find another good woman to love and trust after losing his first wife, who was the youngest daughter of Robert Crawley (Hugh Bonneville), 7th Earl of Grantham. As many fans of the TV series know, Tom and Robert often clashed with each other due to their sociopolitical differences, but Tom eventually adjusted himself to Robert’s aristocratic world for his baby daughter, and Robert is glad to see that Tom comes to solidifies his position in Robert’s family more via his second marriage. After all, Lucy Smith is the sole heir of Lady Bagshaw (Imelda Staunton), who is incidentally one of Robert’s cousins.

Meanwhile, Downton Abbey confronts another change to disrupt its usual daily life. When a movie director approaches for getting the permission to shoot a film at Downton Abbey, Robert is not amused at all for understandable reasons, but his eldest daughter Mary (Michelle Dockery), who has been the de facto head of the family, sees an opportunity for getting more finance for the maintenance of Downtown Abbey. A certain part of Downton Abbey happens to be in the serious need of repair, and, once he sees how serious that is, Robert reluctantly agrees to let those movie people into Downtown Abbey.

And then there comes another news for Robert and his family. It turns out that Robert’s dying mother Violet (Maggie Smith) will inherit a villa located somewhere in Southern France, and everyone wonders what happened between Violet and the dead owner of the villa, a French nobleman who once spent some time with her many years ago. Because it is apparent that they will have to meet and negotiate a bit with that French nobleman’s family members, Robert decides to come to that villa along with his several family members including his wife Cora (Elizabeth McGovern), and he is certainly relieved for not having to see Downton Abbey populated with those movie people.

In contrast, almost every servant and maid working in Downton Abbey cannot help but feel excited about those movie people with growing curiosity, and those movie people surely do not disappoint them at all. The two leading performers, Myrna Dalgleish (Laura Haddock) and Guy Dexter (Dominic West), exude their star quality right from their arrival in Downton Abbey, and their director Jack Barber (Hugh Dancy) is charming enough to draw the attention of Mary, who has felt rather bored and frustrated due to her second husband’s another continuing absence.

The movie has lots of fun with the following filmmaking process, and the most fun comes from when Barber and his crew and cast members suddenly face a big business problem not so from “Singin’ in the Rain” (1952). When it turns out that Dalgleish cannot speak that well, Mary finds herself unexpectedly being a part of the solution, and Joseph Molesley (Kevin Doyle), a former servant who is now a local schoolteacher, becomes an unlikely savior when the screenplay needs a lot more lines than before.

In that villa in Southern France, the mood is rather awkward at first, but Robert and his several family members soon get a bit more relaxed. The son of that dead French nobleman makes it pretty clear from the beginning that he has no qualms about giving the villa to Violet and her family as instructed by his father’s will, so it seems that all they will have to do is enjoying several sunny days of Southern France, but, of course, there comes a little personal issue which troubles Robert a lot.

It is not much a spoiler to tell you that all these and other conflicts in the story will be resolved in one way or another within two hours, but Fellowes’ screenplay does not hurry itself much as simply rolling its many characters here and there for more fun and entertainment. Under the competent direction of director Simon Curtis, the main cast members of the film effortlessly inhabit their respective familiar roles, and their solid ensemble performance keeps things afloat even when the movie trudges a bit.

On the whole, “Downtown Abbey: A New Era” is another nice encore for the fans of the TV drama series, and it did its job as well as intended within its familiar background. Yes, this is basically more or less than a special TV episode, but its production qualities are mostly good enough to watch on big screen, and it is surely something you cannot miss if you enjoyed the TV series and the following 2019 film as I much as I did.

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Top Gun: Maverick (2022) ☆☆☆1/2(3.5/4): Now that’s a real cinematic entertainment

Posted on June 18, 2022 by kaist455

We really have to admire and appreciate the enduring star quality of Tom Cruise, who is soon going to have the 60th birthday but has steadily given us a series of entertaining films during last several decades. To be frank with you, I often wonder whether his recent action films are actually his own way of handling middle-life crisis, but, if so, he has done that quite productively and entertainingly for us, and it is certainly awesome to observe how he magnificently carries “Top Gun: Maverick” from the beginning to the end.

As many of you know, the movie is the long-awaited sequel to late Tony Scott’s “Top Gun” (1986), which boosted Cruise’s growing stardom further after Paul Brickman’s “Risky Business” (1983). Although it is rather rote and corny in terms of story and characters, the 1986 film impressed audiences a lot via a number of excellent aerial action sequences, and it was subsequently Oscar-nominated in four technical categories in addition to having a huge box office success at that time (It won the Best Song Oscar for its iconic theme song “Take My Breath Away”, by the way).

Now more than three decades have passed, but Cruise demonstrates here again that he still has the same charm and charisma he confidently wielded in the 1986 film, and watching him taking the role of mentor in “Top Gun: Maverick” somehow takes me back to when he was sort of mentored by none other than Paul Newman in Martin Scorsese’ “The Color of Money” (1986). Seriously, at that time, who could have imagined that he would not only endure but also prevail long enough to be on the opposite side as a senior Hollywood star actor?

Just like the 1986 film, “Top Gun: Maverick” is mainly about a very, very, very risky military operation to be accomplished by a bunch of young, ambitious, and, above all, talented US Naval pilots. Their target is a uranium enrichment facility located inside a conveniently unnamed enemy country, and it is the job of Cruise’s character, Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, to train and then prepare those young pilots for the operation within a few weeks.

However, Maverick is not so excited about his job because this will be probably the last hurrah in his long and illustrious career. As shown from the stunning opening sequence where he boldly pushes the limit of his latest test flight, he prefers to be active up in the air as long as he can, but, as an annoyed admiral played by Ed Harris sharply reminds him later, his time is ending due to many reasons including rapid military technology advancement. After all, using drones is usually far less risky and much cheaper than depending on human elements, isn’t it?

Anyway, Maverick demands his trainees to push their limits all the way, and his rather unorthodox training methods bring lots of headaches to his new direct superior played by John Hamm, who surely does not like Maverick much right from the beginning. In addition, one of Maverick’s trainees turns out to be the son of his old friend who unfortunately died in the 1986 film, and their official encounter is pretty awkward to say the least. While Maverick has always cared about him, Lt. Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw (Miles Teller) has resented Maverick for understandable personal reasons, and Maverick becomes more conflicted about whether he should include Rooster in the operation.

During this part, the movie serves us a number of vivid and spectacular aerial action sequences which will surely take your breath away right from their first few seconds. I am sure that they used a considerable amount of special efforts during these sequences, but I must admit that Cruise and several main cast members look quite real and convincing in their respective cockpits, and the movie palpably conveys to us a number of hair-raising extreme risks taken by their characters on the screen.

Meanwhile, the movie is also surprisingly engaging in several quiet personal moments, which remind Maverick of how things have changed during last several decades of his life. As Maverick’s old former lover, Jennifer Connelly clicks well with Cruise during several key scenes between them, and she and Cruise skillfully balance their characters’ rekindled romance well between humor and maturity. In case of the brief but memorable appearance of Val Kilmer, who played the main adversary of Cruise’s character in the 1986 film, it feels all the more poignant considering Kilmer’s recent medical problem, which was the main reason why he went into retirement several years ago.

In the end, everything in the story culminates to the expected climactic part where the operation is eventually executed (Is this a spoiler?), and the movie goes all the way along with Cruise while giving us a number of unexpected surprises for more thrill and entertainment. Director Joseph Kosinski, who previously directed “Tron: Legacy” (2010) and “Oblivion” (2013), and his crew members including editor Eddie Hamilton and cinematographer Claudio Miranda did a stupefying top-notch job on the whole, and I will not be surprised if the movie is Oscar-nominated in several technical categories in next year just like its predecessor.

Overall, “Top Gun: Maverick” is one of the more entertaining blockbuster films of this year, and it surely reminds me again of one of the main reasons why I go to movie theater. Like many of you, I am eager to be entertained a lot, and I was really energized by how “Top Gun: Maverick” boldly flies way beyond not only its predecessor but also many of less ambitious Hollywood blockbusters during last several years. Now that’s a real cinematic entertainment, folks.

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Lightyear (2022) ☆☆☆(3/4): A simple lightweight fun from Pixar

Posted on June 18, 2022 by kaist455

“Lightyear”, the latest animation feature film from Pixar Studios, is as funny and lightweight as you can expect. Although it is merely a spin-off story derived from “Toy Story” (1995), the film generates enough charm and spirit from its rather finite playground, and I am happy to report to you that it can actually work as a stand-alone story although it is not one of the better offerings from Pixar Studios.

As shown from its opening part, “Lightyear” is a sort of origin story behind one of the main toy characters in “Toy Story”. That toy character, named Buzz Lightyear, is actually a product associated with the valiant space soldier hero of a popular science fiction adventure film named, yes, “Lightyear”, and that film is mainly about how Lightyear (voiced by Chris Evans) tries to accomplish a certain important mission for not only himself but also many other space soldiers.

The early part of the story quickly establishes how they happen to be stuck in one alien planet. While their big spaceship is peacefully cruising somewhere far and far from the Earth, Lightyear and his no-nonsense commander Alisha Hawthorne (voiced by Uzo Aduba) decide to stop by that alien planet because it seems to be worthwhile to explore, but, not so surprisingly, its environment turns out to be a bit more hostile than expected. Right after getting back to their spaceship, Lightyear tries to launch the spaceship, but, alas, it only comes to crash on the ground due to his rather reckless decision, and, to make matters worse, the spaceship loses its main power source for its hyperspace cruise as a consequence.

At least, nobody got killed, and everyone tries to survive and then live under Hawthorne’s steady leadership. Thanks to their advanced technology, they can build their big safety zone within one year, and they also focus on making the new power source for hyperdrive cruise. Quite determined to compensate for his previous big mistake, Lightyear volunteers to be the test pilot for this urgent project, and we soon see him doing his first space flight outside the planet.

However, after the disappointing failure of his first space flight, Lightyear belatedly comes to learn of its irreversible side effect involved with time and space. While his space flight only takes several minutes, the time on the planet runs much faster in comparison, and he is shocked to find that everyone including Hawthorne have waited for his return for more than 4 years.

Nonetheless, Lightyear still does not give up at all, and we accordingly get the bittersweet montage sequence showing the quick passage of time as he tries again and again in the space. Whenever he returns, he always sees Hawthorne becoming older than the previous time, and there eventually comes a point where she is no longer there for him after living so many good years on the planet. After marrying a female colleague of hers, she had a happy life as seeing their son growing up to have his own daughter, and Lightyear is certainly saddened as watching the video message she made not long before her death.

Lightyear subsequently becomes more determined about accomplishing his mission, though his new commander notifies that he decides to abort the project for paying more attention to colonizing the planet. Fortunately, Lightyear’s robot cat Sox (voiced by Peter Sohn) reveals to him that there is actually a very good chance of success, so he soon goes all the way for what may be his last space flight.

In the end, Lightyear attains what he has hoped for many years, but there comes a big setback, and then he finds himself getting stuck with a trio of colorful characters including Izzy Hawthorne (voiced by Keke Palmer), who is, yes, Hawthorne’s granddaughter. She and her two comrades have been trying to save many others trapped inside the safety zone due to some mysterious menace, and Lightyear has no choice but to handle this new mission for himself after discerning how unprepared Izzy and her two comrades are in many aspects.

Now, not for spoiling any of your entertainment, I will be a bit more discreet from this point. As Lightyear and his accidental comrades bounce from one point to another, the film provides a fair share of fun and thrill, and it does not disappoint us when Lightyear finally confronts the main villain of the story, who has also been driven by a personal motive for years just like him. Often reminiscent of many other science fiction films including those Star Trek films, the film surely has plenty of goodies to amuse any science fiction movie fan, and it also brings enough life and personality to not only its hero but also several supporting characters around him.

While Chris Evans certainly has a ball with his character, the other notable main cast members of the film are equally entertaining in each own way. While Uzo Aduba and Keke Palmer provide some gravitas to the story, James Brolin, Taika Waititi, and Isiah Whitlock Jr. are also solid in their respective parts, and the special mention goes to Peter Sohn, who effortlessly steals the show his deadpan voice acting.

Directed by Angus MacLane, “Lightyear” feels like a minor footnote attached to the Toy Story franchise, but it is still a well-made product on the whole, and I enjoyed its competent technical aspects including Michael Giacchino’s energetic score. I must point out that “Turning Red” (2022), another Pixar Studios animation film of this year, is more enjoyable and impressive in comparison, but “Lightyear” has its own charm and personality to some degree, and I am okay with that for now.

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Gyeong-ah’s Daughter (2022) ☆☆☆1/2(3.5/4): Her daughter is in trouble…

Posted on June 18, 2022 by kaist455

I often braced myself while watching South Korean film “Gyeong-ah’s Daughter”, a somber but undeniably powerful drama about one certain serious social gender issue in our digital era. As observing how its two different main characters respectively struggle with the sudden devastating damages inflicted upon their life, the movie is hard and difficult to watch at times, but we keep watching it nonetheless because it handles its story and characters with considerable care and restraint at least, and it surely earns its little melodramatic tears around the end of the story.

At first, we are introduced to a plain middle-aged widow named Gyeong-ah (Kim Jung-young) and her adult daughter Yeon-soo (Ha Yoon-kyung), and we observe their respective daily lives. Gyeong-ah works as a caregiver for some senile old man in her neighborhood located in Inchon, and Yeon-soo lives in Seoul while working as a schoolteacher, but they do not correspond that much with each other on the whole. Although Gyeong-ah calls her daughter from time to time, Yeon-soo does not want to talk much about how her life has been going, and a certain little problem in her private life is surely the last thing to tell her busybody mother.

Unfortunately, that problem turns out to be more serious than she thought at first. Yeon-soo recently broke up with some lad, and she has no regret over this, but, alas, this dude still thinks that he can get her back. When he suddenly appears right behind her, she is naturally nervous, and their following conversation only reminds her more of why she decided to leave him. Quite concerned about whatever he might do to her, she subsequently decides to go to her mother’s residence instead of her residence, but she still does not tell anything to her mother while hoping that he will simply give up in the end.

However, the situation only becomes quite worse for Yeon-soo not long after that. Out of spite, her ex-boyfriend sends their sex video file to a number of persons including Yeon-soo’s best female friend, who instantly notifies to Yeon-soo about that. Needless to say, this sex video file will soon be spread around here and there on the Internet, and Yeon-soo’s life begins to crumble as she becomes more scared and devastated day by day. She eventually comes to quit her job, and then she retreats from everyone around her while trying to find any possible way to recover from this devastating blow to her life.

Gyeong-ah could help her daughter, but she is so shocked to see that sex video file that she only comes to hurt her daughter’s feelings more. Nonetheless, she tries to find her daughter when Yeon-soo is gone from her without any word, and that makes her more regrettable about her rather cruel words hurled at Yeon-soo at that time.

As alternating between the bumpy emotional struggles of its two main characters, the movie gives us a series of painful moments without resorting to cheap sentimentality. While she manages to find a way to start her life again in addition to doing some damage control, Yeon-soo cannot help but reminded of the persistence presence of that sex video file somewhere on the Internet, and she feels more regret and guilt because the video was actually shot under her thoughtless consent. She is willing to take her case to the court, but then she comes to hesitate when her sympathetic lawyer tells her that she can agree on the settlement outside the court for avoiding more troubles to come.

Meanwhile, Gyeong-ah comes to reflect on her life more as trying to cope with her complicated feelings on her daughter’s ongoing plight. As she admits later in the story, she was not that happy due to her lousy husband throughout their married life, and she comes to see how Yeon-soo was important to her during that difficult time as she stood by her mother as a caring daughter. Coming to realize that she should have stood by Yeon-soo from the very beginning, Gyeong-ah begins to try as much as she can for Yeon-soo, and her small but significant efforts eventually make her connect more with Yeon-soo.

The last act accordingly becomes rather melodramatic, but the movie steadily maintains its calm attitude as before. I particularly appreciate small but precious moments of solidarity from several female supporting characters around Gyeong-ah and Yeon-soo. While Yeon-soo’s best friend and one of Yeon-soo’s colleagues are quite willing to provide help and support, two female lawyer characters in the story show more understanding and compassion than expected, and Gyeong-ah’s old friend also turns out to be much caring than we thought at first. In case of a subplot involved with Yeon-soo and one certain young girl in the story, it becomes unexpectedly poignant when Yeon-soo comes to connect more with this young girl, and we sense a sort of healing process inside Yeon-soo as she opens herself more to this young girl.

Under the thoughtful direction of director/writer Kim Jung-eun, who made a feature film debut here after making two short films, the two leading actresses quietly hold our attention with their respective solid performances. While Kim Jung-young ably holds the ground, Ha Yoon-kyung deftly handles her character’s difficult emotional journey along the story, and they are also supported well by several good cast members including Lee Chae-kyung and Park Hye-jin.

Overall, “Gyeong-ah’s Daughter” is another impressive South Korean female drama film of this year, and it surely reminds me again of why many South Korean female filmmakers like Kim Jung-eun are important for South Korean cinema. Considering the blatant social backlash against feminism in the South Korean society at present, we really need to support and listen to their stories more than before, and I sincerely hope that the movie will be regarded as the shining starting point for Kim’s filmmaking career.

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After I came out

Posted on June 16, 2022 by kaist455

Around 6 years ago, I came out of my closet just because I felt that enough was enough. I endured more than 10 matchmaking attempts made by my mother, and those meetings with young women only reminded me again and again of how much I am disinterested in girls. I am not just drawn to masculinity; I sexually desire and crave for it, and I should have known that sooner, considering that my eyes were often drawn to the photographs of beefy bodybuilders even during my childhood years. When I saw a certain little moment of sexual awakening involved with Jean-Claude Van Damme in Oscar-nominated animation documentary film “Flee” (2021), I said to myself with amusement: “Oh, I know that feeling.”

The immediate consequences of exposing my homosexuality to others around me were pretty mixed to say the least. In case of many of my online friends and acquaintances, I got much more support and congratulation than expected, and I felt good about that. In case of my co-workers, they accepted me without much problem. In case of my parents, they were quite angry and disappointed as hurting me a lot with all those painful accusations tinged with bias and prejudice, which I still cannot forgive or forget at all.

And I still remember how angry, depressed, and devastated I was during that hurtful time. Suddenly, I felt like having no one around me to support and love, and I even considered suicide as struggling with all those emotional upheavals between me and my parents. To make matters worse, my younger brother did not provide any emotional support at all, and that made us more estranged to each other, though we had not cared that much about each other for years since I went to university.

Anyway, I survived this traumatic moment, and I have tried to move on during next several years. After concluding that I had no future in academic research, I decided to work in a small but solid biotechnology company founded by my graduate school advisor, and I felt a bit happier because I could be more separated from my parents in Jeonju. Although I still had to visit them every two weeks, I was glad to start a little private life of my own in Daejeon, and I could have much more freedom in exploring my sexual desire and preference.

Actually, I already had a sort of boyfriend before moving to Daejeon in June 2017. He was a graduate student from Guatemala, and I am still grateful to him for giving me the first gay sex since I had with a distant cousin of mine in 1997. I was pretty nervous during our first meeting, but everything went well in his little residence once we got relaxed a bit, and that was the beginning of our long relationship. During next several years, he often came to Daejeon whenever he had time, and I felt good and happy as spending time with him.

However, there came a point where our relationship became less intimate and exciting after he eventually graduated. After working in Jeonju for a while, he moved to Busan for his new teaching job, and, mainly because he is frequently busy with his work, he did not come to Daejeon that often. While he was willing to pursue his professional career in South Korea, I came to have doubts on whether I could be more serious about our relationship, and that was one of several reasons why I came to distance myself from him bit by bit. We are still friendly to each other as sending texts and photographs to each other from time to time, but we are more like friends instead of lovers these days.

Meanwhile, I kept searching for any dude around me via Grindr and several other online gay dating applications. As a matter of fact, I met more than 40 guys, and I had sex with most of them just because I wanted to clarify my sexual preference. After my so-called research, I concluded that I am usually drawn to big manly dudes, and I also found that anal sex was a cumbersome business I prefer to avoid as much as possible. In fact, after several attempts of being top or bottom, I sort of came to appreciate the physical flexibility of gay porn actors. I have no idea on how they actually prepare, but all those acts of theirs look pretty effortless as far as I can see.

Anyway, many of guys with whom I had sex usually disappointed me. No, sex was usually okay or good, but I could not go further than that as failing to connect with most of them. As an awkward guy who was not only diagnosed to be on autism spectrum but also turned to have a depression problem, I am not so good at approaching to others, and I even had a couple of pretty bad experiences. In case of one of them, this dude stole my laptop after we had sex in my residence, and the only consolation was that I had actually been considering buying the new one sooner or later. In case of the other dude, he tried to cling onto me even though I made it clear to him that we were totally finished, and he still sends me texts at times although I simply ignore and delete them without much care.

In last year, it looked like I finally came to have a serious relationship with some other guy, but, alas, I only found myself more frustrated and disappointed. I was actually willing to let him more into my life, but he frequently disrupted my daily routines involved with movies and books just because he wanted to have more of me, and he also looked increasingly creepy and annoying to me as days went by. Besides, my sexual experience with him was rather unpleasant, and he even attempted to have a half-forced sex with me when I was tired and drowsy during one afternoon.

Yes, I should have thrown him out sooner, but it was not easy for me at all. I actually attempted to leave him in last December, but I accepted his emotional plea later. Although he often made me feel like a bad person, I thought I had a fair share of faults, so I decided to try again with him, but we only ended up having a breakup several months later. I made it clear to him that I did not like him enough to tolerate him, and that was the end of our relationship.

After that point, I felt lonelier and more miserable than before, though I did not regret at all about leaving him. I subsequently met several other guys, but they all came to me for nothing more than sex. At least, one South African guy seems to really like me, but we remain to be mere friends meeting for sex and fun, and the same thing can be said about a young Botswanan guy, from whom I did not expect much from the beginning because he will leave South Korea around the end of this year once his school semester is over.

In the meantime, my parents still hope that I will change my mind someday. My mother often suggested that I should meet a woman recommended by her matchmaker, and I simply responded to her with detached disinterest while also trying to suppress my growing annoyance and exasperation. You see, they are still in denial while disregarding who I am, and they still do not apologize to me for how much they hurt my feelings at that time. Sure, they did feel hurt to learn that I am a gay, but I cannot be changed at all, and they should have accepted that earlier.

At least, my younger brother will finally get married around the end of this year, so my parents are certainly delighted, but they still want to see me marrying any good woman sooner or later. When my mother told me that my father lashed out at her less frequently than before thanks to my younger brother’s upcoming marriage, I was reminded again of how much he has emotionally abused her during last several years just because both I and my younger brother remained unmarried. According to my mother, he often blamed her for raising her two kids in ‘wrong’ ways, and that certainly made me resent my father more than that. I respect and appreciate him for how much he worked for supporting his family, but now he looks like a pitiful and cruel old man who hurts others around him just because things do not go as well as he wants.

Anyway, I feel mostly right about myself and my life and career. To my little surprise, I have stayed in the company for more than 5 years, and I have worked a lot in addition to spending lots of time on books and movies. In addition, I already told my co-workers about my sexual identity, so they do not ask me about when I will marry, and I am comfortable with that. So far, I think I can continue to work here for 10 years at least, and I will move to a bigger residence in 2024, though I should receive some financial support from my parents while maintaining our relationship on the surface without talking much about my sexual identity.

As the possibility of being alone and lonely for the rest of my life grows day by day, my parents are still pressuring me toward a heterosexual marriage even at present, but I will stick to my sexual integrity nonetheless. I may be bound to permanent bachelorship, but I promise to myself that I will not bend myself to my parents’ will no matter what will happen to me during next several decades. Now my mind goes back to the very last shot of William Wyler’s “The Heirless” (1949) – how resolute its heroine played by Olivia de Havilland looks in that memorable shot. She will be probably alone for the rest of her life, but she is not afraid at all as being in the full control of her life at last, and I can only hope that, in addition to loving and knowing myself more, I will be able to take care of myself well just like her even without any chance for real relationship in the future.

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Hustle (2022) ☆☆☆(3/4): A low-key sports drama starring Adam Sandler (No Kidding)

Posted on June 13, 2022 by kaist455

As many of you know, Adam Sandler is actually a good actor who can be quite serious and compelling whenever he gets a chance for that. In Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Punch Drunk Love” (2002), he got the first opportunity for fully demonstrating the edgy sides of his usual comic persona, so it is a shame that he has not explored this potentially rich area of his acting talented that much as appearing in a bunch of disposable comedy films such as, yes, “Jack and Jill” (2011).

Nevertheless, as recently shown in the Safdie brother’s “Uncut Gems” (2019), Sandler has lost none of his acting talent yet, and his latest Netflix film “Hustle” confirms that again to us. In contrast to his previous Netflix films which are pretty ludicrous to say the least, the movie is much more serious as your average sports drama, and, to my little surprise, Sandler humbly holds the ground via as dialing down his comic intensity as required.

Sandler plays Stanley Sugerman, who was once a promising basketball player but, after one very unfortunate incident, has worked as an international scout for the Philadelphia 76ers of the National Basketball Association (NBA) in US. As shown from the opening scene, Sugerman often travels to here and there in Europe for finding basketball players good enough for recruitment, and we get some amusement as he wearily checks on a number of various candidates one by one.

Because of his busy work outside US, Sugerman cannot be around his wife Teresa (Queen Latifah) and their adolescent daughter Alex (Jordan Hull) that often, but both Teresa and Alex have accepted his frequent absence while fully supporting how he earns their living day by day. In case of his workplace, he is always trusted by Rex Merrick (Robert Duvall, who is still reliable although he had the 91st birthday several months ago), the owner of the 76ers, and a brief private moment between him and Sugerman conveys to us many years of trust and respect between them.

However, Merrick suddenly dies not long after promoting Sugerman to a new assistant coach of the 76ers, and his position is soon filled by his cocky son Vince (Ben Foster, who is rather under-utilized despite his usual intense presence). Because Vance has no respect for Sugerman’s wisdom and experience at all, Sugerman soon finding himself back in his good old scout business as demanded by Vince, and he certainly feels miserable as musing on whether he should accept a certain good offer from a good friend of his.

And then there comes an unexpected chance for him. When he is in Spain for checking on several local candidates, Sugerman happens to spot a tall young man doing some basketball hustle outside, and he instinctively senses the considerable potential from this lad. Although their first encounter is not exactly pleasant, it does not take much time for Sugarman to get the attention of this lad. As an economically struggling young single dad, Bo Cruz (Juancho Hernangómez) is quite willing to reach to an opportunity for earning much more money for his mother and his little daughter, and he soon goes to Philadelphia along with Sugarman.

Of course, Sugerman and Cruz come to face a number of obstacles in front of them as soon as they arrive in Philadelphia. While Vince is not so pleased about Sugerman not following his decision on Cruz, Cruz turns out to have a little problem behind his back, and, above all, his road to NBA draft turns out to be much more challenging mainly due to some other basketball player eager to crush him on the field by any means necessary.

What follows next is a series of training sequences where Sugerman pushes Cruz harder for their big moment to come, and director Jeremiah Zagar, who previously drew my attention for his debut film “We the Animals” (2018), and his editors Tom Costain, Brian Robinson, and Keiko Deguchi skillfully handle these conventional moments with enough energy and intensity. In addition, they also bring considerable verisimilitude to several key basketball play scenes in the film, and it surely helps that Juancho Hernangómez is actually a NBA basketball player in real life.

Sandler’s seasoned professional acting and Hernangómez’s earnest non-professional performance make an effectively contrasting duo throughout the film, and they are also surrounded by a number of recognizable real-life figures popping up around here and there (I am sure some of you know more about them than me). Although she seems to be limited by her rather thankless supporting role, Queen Latifah brings more to her part than expected, and Jordan Hull holds her own small place well between Sandler and Latifah.

On the whole, “Hustle” mostly stays in its genre conventions, but Zagar and his cast and crew members did a commendable job of bringing enough realism and spirit into the familiar narrative of the film, and the result is one of the better films in Sandler’s filmography. Although his work here in this movie is not something as electrifying as his utterly uncompromising performance in “Uncut Gems”, I enjoyed how his humble performance diligently carries the film without overshadowing his fellow cast members, and that is certainly worthwhile to observe and appreciate.

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The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Mäki (2016) ☆☆☆(3/4): Before his big match

Posted on June 11, 2022 by kaist455

Finnish film “The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Mäki”, which was belatedly released in South Korean theaters on this Thursday, is a modest drama film revolving around one real-life professional boxer who attempted on the World Boxing Association featherweight championship on one day of August 1962. While it actually focuses more on mood and character instead of that big match, the movie still engages us via its earnest storytelling coupled with lightweight charm, and it certainly earns its somber but solid feel-good ending.

After the brief opening showing its hero going to somewhere by train, the movie quickly establishes the romantic relationship between Olli Mäki (Jarkko Lahti) and his girlfriend Raija Jänkä (Oona Airola). When he comes to Raija’s house for attending the wedding of a family member of hers along with her and several other family members, we can instantly sense how much they are close to each other, and they come to consider being more serious about their relationship as attending that wedding together.

However, there is a very important thing in Olli’s life right now. While he works as a baker in his hometown, he has also been a promising new boxer in the country, and his coach Elis Ask (Eero Milonoff) already arranged a big international match which will be the definite highlight of Olli’s professional boxing career in one way or another. His opponent is none other than the current World Boxing Association featherweight champion, so Olli has already been getting lots of attention from not only his wealthy local sponsors but also the local media.

Besides losing enough weight for the upcoming match, Olli must focus a lot on honing his boxing skills more, but he cannot help but feel uncomfortable as being frequently on spotlight along with Elis. While attending a number of evening social events for those sponsors of his, he also must get accustomed to his training process shot by a documentary filmmaker, and the only consolation comes from Raija’s constant presence around him.

However, Olli finds himself more distracted because of his growing love toward Raija. When he participates in a press conference along with Elis, his eyes cannot help but attracted to Raija, who happens to be right behind a bunch of reporters asking him one question after another. During his training time, he becomes more aware of her presence, and it does not take much time for both Elis and Raija to realize what is going on inside Olli’s mind, which is helplessly in love to say the least.

The mood of the movie becomes a little more serious when Raija decides to do what is the best for her dear boyfriend, but the screenplay by Juho Kuosmanen and his co-writer Mikko Myllylahti steadily maintains its lightweight approach as lightly rolling from one small character moment to another. I was particularly amused by Olli’s rather drastic measure for losing more weight before the day of the match, and I also enjoyed an episodic scene where Elis goes to a meeting of those wealthy sponsors along with his children and Olli for getting more money as soon as possible.

It is not much of a spoiler to tell you that Olli follows what his heart wants in the end, and the movie does not surprise you much in case of the eventual match between him and his opponent, but it surprises you as deftly balancing its hero between Elis and Raija. While she is surely glad to see Olli again, Raija is also well aware of how important the match is for him regardless of its result. While he is certainly annoyed when Olli does not follow his plan, Elis comes to respect Olli’s personal feelings, and they agree upon an alternative as confirming their strong friendship to each other.

I will let you appreciate how the movie pulls off its humble but touching finale, so I will focus more on the good chemistry between Jarkko Lahti and Oona Airola, who instantly click with each other right from their first scene in the film. Lahti, who actually began the preparation for his role even before the production of the film just because Kuosmanen told him that he might play the leading role, looks convincing during his character’s several training scenes in the film, and his likable performance makes us care about his character more along the story. In case of Airola, she is effortlessly charming as letting us discern what Olli sees from her character, and she and Lahti are also supported well by Eero Milonoff, who brings some life and personality to what could have been a thankless supporting role.

On the whole, “The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Mäki”, which won the Prize Un Certain Regard when it was shown at the Certain Regard section of the 2016 Cannes Film Festival (It was also selected as Finland’s submission to Best International Film Oscar in that year, by the way,) may require some patience due to its low-key mood and storytelling, but it is worthwhile to watch for the amiable performances from its main cast members as well as its several admirable aspects including the black and white cinematography by Jani-Petteri Passi. As I told you already, this is a lot milder than “Rocky” (1976) or “Raging Bull” (1980), but I assure you that it will win your heart in the end, and, considering its original Finnish title (“Hymyilevä mies” means “Smiling Man”), you may end up smiling at its very last shot.

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Sister J (2020) ☆☆☆(3/4): As he and others endure for more than 10 years

Posted on June 11, 2022 by kaist455

South Korean documentary film “Sister J” gives a dry but sensitive glimpse into the longtime struggle of one ordinary man who fought along with his colleagues for more than 10 years. As shown in the documentary, they really tried hard to get their justice despite many moments of desperation and frustration, and the documentary is often poignant as closely observing how they struggled to endure one day after another via solidarity and some occasional moments of joy.

At first, the documentary simply introduces its plain but unforgettable hero. His name is Lee Jae-choon, and he worked at a guitar factory for around 30 years, but he and many other workers were suddenly laid off in 2007 by their employer without any compensation, and that was the beginning of their fight which turned out to be much longer than expected. No matter how much they protested outside, they were callously ignored by their employer, and their following court trials only led to more frustration and exasperation for them as those judges kept siding with the employer.

Nonetheless, Lee, who is affectionately called “Sister Jae-choon” by director Lee Soo-jung at times, and his fellow strikers continue to fight even after their appeal is rejected by the supreme court. They often sleep in their tent on a street, and we become more aware of the growing desperation among them. There is still some possibility for their reinstatement, but the employer is still adamant about not listening to them at all, and they all have lots of doubt on whether they can actually win in the end.

As he goes through one hard day after another, Lee causally reveals more of himself in front of the camera. As he frankly admits to us via his written words shown during the opening scene, he was just a petty employee who was timid and introverted during all those years at the factory, but the ongoing struggle made him much more active and courageous than before. Although he surely looks mild and unremarkable on the surface, he has been actually one of the leading members in his group, and he is also willing to express more of his thoughts and feelings to others via various activities including an amateur theater production, where he plays Ophelia of William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”.

The mood becomes a bit more cheerful as the documentary observes him preparing to play Ophelia in front of a small group of audiences. While he and his fellow main cast members are understandably amateurish, they all do their best for making their humble production work, and Lee certainly has some fun as earnestly playing his female character.

We later seem him participating in another theater production which is rather abstract but quite straightforward about what he and his colleagues are going through. Although we just look at him from his behind as he stands in the aisle and then delivers one simple line toward the stage, the dramatic effect from that is palpable to us as we reflect more on how the legal system denied any justice for them during all those years.

Things get more desperate for Lee and his colleagues in the late 2010s, but the documentary, which is mostly shot in black and white film of 1.33:1 ratio, steadily maintains its calm attitude as before. At one point, we see Lee entering a small apartment where he has lived with his two daughters, but the daughters happen to be absent, and Lee tells us how much he has been conflicted between his ongoing fight and his daughters’ welfare. As he frankly admits to us, his daughters have suffered a lot due to his frequent absence, and that makes him have more doubt on whether it is really right to continue what he and his colleagues have been doing for more than 10 years.

Not long after that, it seems that there finally comes a possible moment of breakthrough for them, though they remain against the wall as usual. Lee and several colleagues of his come to confront their employer at last, and they surely have lots of things to say, but they are constantly blocked by one of those company guys working under the employer, who remains silent without saying anything at all until he comes to have a little private meeting with Lee and other protesters in his office.

Regardless of whatever happened in the room, Lee and his colleagues continue to fight. For bringing more public awareness on their ongoing struggle, they hold a big public demonstration to show more of their will and determination, and then Lee and several colleagues of his begin a hunger strike. Again, the situation looks pretty hopeless, but Lee and his colleagues are determined to go all the way, and we later see them getting some public support from Buddhist monks praying outside their tent.

I will not go into details into what follows next, but I can tell you instead that I admire how the documentary delivers a moment of little poignancy with thoughtful restraint. Things are not changed much for Lee even after he and his colleagues finally came to achieve their goal, but he feels much better than before, and we come to sense that he will keep going as he always did for no less than 4464 days.

Overall, “Sister J” requires some patience from you due to its rather dry approach, but it will gradually engage you once you accept how it is about its main subject. To be frank with you, I wish the documentary gave more background information, but, after watching it, I wanted to know more about what Lee and his colleagues went through, and I guess I will have to do some homework after writing this review.

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Unboxing Girl (2021) ☆☆☆(3/4): The trouble with her crummy boss

Posted on June 10, 2022 by kaist455

South Korean independent film “Unboxing Girl” is often difficult to watch in many of its absurdly exasperating moments. Mainly revolving around its heroine’s very unlucky office romance, the movie has a lot to show and tell about sexism and gender inequality, and it made me wince more as I came to reflect more on what many working women in the South Korean society have to endure everyday even at present.

At first, the movie succinctly establishes its heroin’s busy daily life. Although she has been stuck in the same position for many years in some designing company, Yeong-jin (Lee Tae-kyoung) keeps trying hard for getting things done nonetheless, and one brief scene at a factory shows us how much she is dedicated to her work. She wants to confirm on the production process one more time just in case, and, despite the opposition from the annoyed foreman, she soon checks the process alone by herself.

However, Yeong-jin does not receive much appreciation at her workplace. For example, her superior simply disregards her design for a new product without care or attention, and he does not even consider her promotion. In her department, she is not particularly close to several other employees, and the only consolation in her daily life comes from her best friend Ha-na (Lee Bom), who has worked as a part-time teacher since quitting her designing career some years ago.

Anyway, there comes a change into Yeong-jin’s life via Joon-seol (Lee Han-ju), a young man who is recently employed as the new manager of her department. As everyone quickly notices on his very first day, Joon-seol is not particularly smart or competent, and we soon come to gather than he got employed just because of his affluent and influential family background. After meeting him, Yeong-jin becomes more frustrated because she should have been the manager instead considering all those good efforts and results from her, but her following protest is casually ignored by her superior.

As a result, Yeong-jin has no choice but to assist Joon-seol along with her colleagues as expected, and the movie gives us a series of small comic moments while Joon-seol frequently bumbles day by day. Yeong-jin’s colleagues have already expected him to quit his job sooner or later, and Yeong-jin cannot help but feel a bit sorry about him even though she still resents him for taking what should have been hers. When they meet each other outside their workplace, Yeong-jin gives Joon-seol a few tips, and then, what do you know, they come to spend more time together.

Now this looks like a typical setup for office romance, but the screenplay by director/writer Kim Soo-jung focuses more on the glaring gender inequality between its two main characters. When Joon-seol unwisely tries to do the proposal for a new product, Yeong-jin comes to help him a lot just because of her growing attraction to him, but, not so surprisingly, he gets all the credits from the following success without showing any appreciation to her.

Yeong-jin naturally becomes quite angry about this, but, to her exasperation, there is no one to help around her. Again, her direct superior does not listen to whatever she says, and it also turns out that the company is not so interested in handing ethical problems like hers. Yeong-jin tries to be more patient with Joon-seol instead, but, not so surprisingly, there eventually comes a point where she cannot tolerate his growing insolence anymore.

At least, Yeong-jin can still get some comfort and consolation from her best friend, and the mood becomes a bit more relaxed when they happen to have a little vacation at one point. When they arrive at some rural area, they meet a middle-aged woman who has worked as a taxi driver after quitting her office job, and Yeong-jin comes to reflect more on the current status of her life and career as listening to this old lady’s life story.

However, the movie does not soften its edgy sides at all as its heroine faces more frustration and exasperation, while being held together well by the strong lead performance from Lee Tae-kyung. Although Yeong-jin is not particularly amiable, Lee ably imbues her character with enough life and personality, and we certainly root for her character a lot when she becomes a little more active about her life and career around the end of the story.

In case of several main cast members of the film, they deftly support or complement her. While Lee Bom is also solid as Yeong-jin’s best friend, Seo Kab-sook simply steals the show during her brief appearance, and Lee Han-ju is effective as bringing some human complexity to his increasingly unlikable character. Like the movie itself, he does not make any excuse on his character at all as focusing on many realistic details of his character, and his good performance will make many female audiences cringe for understandable reasons (FULL DISCLOSURE: As an office manager who often simply occupies his position all day long, I saw a bit of myself from Joon-seol, and I felt ashamed to say the least).

Overall, “Unboxing Girl” delivers sharp points on its main subjects well thanks to its biting comic moments, and Kim, who previously made a feature film debut with “A Blue Mouthed Face” (2015), shows here that she is another interesting South Korean female director to watch. While amused a lot during my viewing, I became more conscious of its painfully relevant issues during my viewing, and that is surely an achievement.

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